Schizophrenia
by KarlyAnnChase
Summary: Sakura, currently 22, was living in a delusion she called her life. This man, Sasuke, made her understand who she truly was—and he ended up finding himself in the process too. AU—SasuSaku—Dark fic—Lemons
1. Preface

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters; they belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Paring:** SasuSaku.

**Warning:** Beware, this is a messed up story, or so I can say. It involves drug abuse—at first. It includes sexual innuendos. It includes cursing.

_Summary: Sakura, currently 22, was living in a delusion she called her life. This man, Sasuke, made her understand who she truly was—and he ended up finding himself in the process too. AU SasuSaku._

* * *

**Schizophrenia**

—Preface—

I stuck the needle in my trusty spot—smack-dab on the wrist, right in the vein. It brings me eternal peace…

…and false happiness.

"Ah," I sighed as I felt the wonderful, coloring effects fill through my body—

—my mind. These images, you see (I see), make me smile in contentment. Make me believe I am a real person; not just an emotionless android. I have feelings. They're just not as real and true as you others feel. They may be fake, but at least I try. But this little needle has brought me so much—so much!—and has made me a better person. Though, the people around me do not think so. They think I am hurting myself—oh, what uncaring lies they slip through their razor-sharp tongues! Who needs them?—I don't! Me, myself, my needle, and I are _all_ I need. I am here for myself. My needle is here for me. My needle may be an artificial object, yet it still brings me these "emotions" you call: happiness, bliss, nirvana—but never sadness nor anger, no, no, _no_. No forlorn, melancholic emotions at all.

I hummed as my head lulled back and forth on the wall behind me. I brought my knees up and limply lay my arms atop of them.

I heard distant thrumming.

Maybe it was my heart, maybe it was someone at the door. Maybe it was my mind playing their favorite little tricks on me again.

"Sakura! Open up!"

Okay, so it wasn't my brain (surprisingly). I guess someone was at the door.

Oh no. They'd just had to come at the perfect time—the climax of this wonderful experience. The part where everything got blurry, then went black.

Then I wouldn't wake up for hours—maybe even a day or two.

Like I said before, this brought me nothing but eternal peace and false happiness.


	2. One: My Heroine

Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters; they belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

_**P.S. I got the schizophrenia information from a friend, she studies Psychology, and she had to write a paper about it one time.**_

_**So sorry for the delay. I haven't been very inspired lately.**_

—

**Schizophrenia**

Chapter One: My Heroine

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, then open them back up again.

There was two things I realized first. One: my head hurt like _fuck_. Two: I was, once again, passed out on the ground—with the needle still in my hands.

How pitiful.

Why did I do this to myself in the first place? I'm a doctor, for heaven's sake! Tsunade's already suspected me—and had a serious talk with me. She said if I kept doing this to myself, she'd fire me. But did this stop me? Oh no—of course not! It's like my inner conscious is fighting two battles, and so far the good side of me is losing—

How hard is it to just _stop?_ I was just hurting myself with the sensual feeling of "pleasure". It wasn't worth it.

—like it always has.

I have a bad sense that it isn't going to change anytime soon. Even though my friends—Kakashi, Naruto, Ino, Hinata—try to help, yet they always fail when my corrupted conscious speaks its mind. I'm afraid I'm going to lose them soon. Very soon.

—

I try to stop, but this vexing, immoral voice tells me otherwise. It tells me, "Oh, it's okay. Just one more time won't hurt," or "But it feels so _good_, right? You don't want to let go of that feeling if it's all you have." And it always works. Always. That's just a proven fact to show how unbelievably weak I am. I don't even deserve to walk this fucking earth.

_Get a grip. Do _something_._ _You can always change the fact that you're weak._ spoke my good conscious thoughtfully.

And this time, I think I was going to listen. All I have to do is believe in myself.

"Sakura-chan?" a sudden voice called, startling me.

I looked over, as expected, I saw Naruto. My eyes glistened with tears and I tried to smile warmly. "Naruto," I breathed, "Why are you here?"

"To see if you're okay, of course." He told matter-of-factly, with a small frown accompanying his face.

I couldn't hold back anymore; tears fell from my eyes and small whimpers emitted from my petite form. "I-I'm so sorry, Naruto, I'm a horrible person. I don't deserve to have you as a friend—a best friend, not to mention. Why do you still… keep me in your life?"

A strong, firm hand gripped my shoulder. "Sakura," he started. "I'm trying to help you. I've always been in your life, how can I leave now? It'd hurt you and I more than it'd benefit to us. Don't you agree?"

"Yeah, but still," I gasped as I was short on breath from weeping. "I'm going to listen to my good conscious. I'm going to try and help myself now. But, there still needs to be… some happiness to push me through it, too,"

This time, with his other hand, he grabbed my own hand, intertwining our fingers together tenderly. "What do you mean by that?" he asked quietly, moving a tad closer to me.

"I need to find somebody who will not only help me but…" This was very awkward. "…you know, _love_ me—"

Not even a second after I said 'love me,' I felt lips crash down onto mine. _N-Naruto?_ my mind screamed in astonishment, but no words uttered out of my mouth. My mouth stayed firmly in place—gaping wide open. It was just a small peck, but it was still a kiss from my best friend.

He reluctantly let his lips free from mine. "_I_ love you," he spoke softly in the shell of my ear, tickling the angel-soft hairs next to it.

The only thing that came to mind also came out of my mouth: "_Why?_" The one-worded question came out sounding like a long, pain-stricken groan. I really wanted to know. What was there to love about me? I'm practically a druggie off the streets. A piece of trash. Plus the fact, I've chosen _drugs_ over _friends_. How sad is that? Very, to put it lightly.

"Because you're… _you._ I know, you're going to say 'but I do drugs' and all this other stuff, but, Sakura, you'll get over it. I've seen you get over it. I just want to help you get over it, too. I know you—inside and out. You may have made mistakes, but no one is perfect." He explained.

Those words brainwashed me. I believed them. He wasn't going to spit me out like toothpaste. But I still don't understand why he doesn't realize the piece of complete shit I really am. "You deserve…so much better than me, Naruto,"

He shook his head. "I don't care."

"But—"

"_Sakura_, please. Just…give me a chance, okay? I'm begging you," and he really _was_. He was down on his knees, his hands were clasped together, and his head was bowed. If he looked up, I'd be surprised if I didn't see any tears.

What I was surprised to feel was my own tears leaking from my eyes. "I-I honestly…don't know what to say, Naruto, but: okay. I'll give you a chance. I won't guarantee anything, though…"

"Oh god," he breathed, then enfolded me in a bone-crushing embrace. "Thank you, Sakura, thank you so much. I'll try to help you with your…addiction."

I smiled softly and shook my head causing pink, frizzy hair to fly in my face. "You don't have to, Naruto. It's my own problem I need to take care of." Sighing, I let my head drop onto his shoulder, as I was still very exhausted.

To ruin the most perfect moment, my phone rang. I groaned and took it out of my pocket, then muttering a wary, "Hello?"

Shizune's voice filled my earlobes. "Sakura?"

"That's me," I said slowly, then finishing the sentence off with a yawn.

"Um," she started somewhat awkwardly. "You're fired."

I nearly dropped the phone in shock. "E-excuse me?"

"You're fired from Konoha Hospital," she explained simply, then coughed.

I shook my head and ignored the concerned looks Naruto was giving me. "_What?_ Why?" My voice shook like a broken recording as I spoke, obviously cuing that I was almost in tears.

With a sigh, she told me, "Because of your drug addiction, Sakura. You've made too many excuses and told too many lies. It's not hard to tell. Nobody can be a proper doctor with _any_ addiction."

"Please, no—"

"This conversation is over. Have a good rest of the day, thank you for your cooperation." She cheerily interrupted over the phone, then hung up.

"You too," I said softly to the dead line. Tears had already made their way down my cheeks, tainting the pores with saltwater. "God, I'm such a fuck up!" I moaned in misery.

Naruto looked panicked. "Sakura, Sakura, what happened?" One of his hands reached over to my face and wiped my tears away tenderly. "And you're not a fuck up."

"I just got f-fired from the hospital," I sniffed up the snot that was starting to leak from my nose. Gross. "As if my life can't get any worse, it just did!"

Naruto's eyes filled with sympathy. "I'm so sorry Sakura. I wish I could go down there and beat some doctors' asses, but I'd just get arrested." He chuckled mechanically.

That made me smile. "Thank you Naruto."

The thoughts occurred to my mind; really, what am I here for? This damn needle has controlled my mind… Again. Look where it's gotten me now.

_Why, Sakura, it's gotten you everything. Quit trying to hide the fact. You know you enjoy it, as it destroys you and your every fiber._

Shut up.

Go away.

I don't want to talk to you today.

"Do you want to grab a bite to eat, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked, and that's when I finally realized he was in front of me with a hand offering me up.

I took his warm hand, and nodded softly. Getting something to eat sounded great. I have no clue where he'd take me, but I really didn't care. I just needed to escape from this hellhole that was controlling my mind.

—

He surprisingly took me to an Italian restaurant. He knew me so well; he knew that Italian was my favorite kind of food. I grinned mentally. Gah, I love this boy to death.

I don't know about the love _he's_ talking about, though… I've always just loved him like a brother and a best friend. That's all he's been to me, ever. Nothing more. However, I do want to give him a chance. Perhaps it'd be better for the both of us; he'd finally be happy, and maybe, so would I.

We got seated casually, and chatted a bit as we waited for our waiter.

"Sakura, you have such gorgeous eyes," he stated nonchalantly.

I blushed a bit. "Haha, thanks…"

After saying that, there was an awkward silence. But, soon enough, the waiter—well, excuse me, wait_ress_—got to our table. She had bleach blonde hair (obviously dyed), and a stick-thin figure. No boobs, or butt. I kind of laughed on the inside, I'm glad I finally grew into those areas. I was no longer flat-chested, nor did I have a small butt.

As soon as the waitress saw Naruto, she smiled flirtatiously and strut towards him, more than to _us_. A wave of green jealousy rushed through my veins. I have no clue why, but I just don't think she should be thinking of Naruto that way…

"Are you ready to order yet, hun?" She asked, her voice coming out honey-smooth.

I coughed purposely, trying to get her attention.

It worked, and she looked glanced over at me. She rolled her eyes, then placed a plastic smile on her Barbie-features. "Yes?"

I smiled just as fake as her. "I'll take the chicken Alfredo," I ordered, as calmly as I could manage.

Naruto tried to hide his laughter, but then said: "I'll, uh, take the same as her."

Trying to get on her nerves, I reached across the table and grabbed Naruto's hand. She gave me the stink eye, as she wrote down our orders. "Anything else?" It sounded like she was trying to make that statement venomous, but failed terribly.

We both shook our heads no, then she left. As soon as the bimbo waitress departed, Naruto bust up laughing. I gave him an odd look.

"Wow, she's a good laugh! She tried so hard to get my attention, and didn't even notice you there until you coughed!" He exclaimed.

I simply raised an eyebrow. "I don't like people like her."

He smiled warmly. "I love you, Sakura-chan,"

Before I could say another word, he was leaning over the table and his lips were pressed to mine. I tried to kiss back, I really did, but it just didn't feel right. It felt like I was kissing my brother. It felt _taboo_. I frowned into the kiss, and lightly pushed him back.

"Naruto," I sighed. "I don't think this is going to work out… Us, being together. I love you and all, but not… like that. Please, don't get upset by this, I really don't want that. I just don't want to ruin our friendship. Please, Naruto, please. I know someone who's a lot better for you anyways…" Tears have made their way down my cheeks, and onto the napkins on the table.

"Who, Sakura, who?" He pleaded.

Sniffing, I said one name: "Hinata Hyuuga."

Even though I couldn't get the courage to look up at him, I could feel his confused gaze. "Why? I don't even know her…"

"She's loved you for years. She deserves you a lot more than I do. She may be shy, but she's an amazing person. She's an awesome cook. She's the sweetest person I know. I envy her, because of her unique beauty. She absolutely loves everything about you, Naruto," I explained quietly.

I heard him sigh. "Oh." Was all he said.

To break another awkward silence, the waitress came and served our food to us. She did that, and that only.

We ate in silence. Suddenly, I felt a pulse of _need, want_.

_I'm in your purse, Sakura. Go to the bathrooms. Inject me. Feel me._

No!

My breathing became more shallow and paced, my fingers twitched to get inside my purse and just…, just… No, I have to fight it! I gripped onto my fork tighter, and shoved more noodles in my mouth. I bit my tongue, trying to distract my addiction. I was gripping my fork so tightly that my knuckles turned white, and the fork started to shake.

"Sakura, are you alright?" Naruto asked out of concern.

I cleared my throat and swallowed thickly. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just bit my tongue…" I clarified, yet not telling him the whole reasoning behind my body language. "I-I think I'll go to the bathroom to check it out…"

Before the blonde could say another word, I'd already headed off to the bathroom in a rush. I slammed the bathroom stall door behind me, and dug violently through my purse. I found it. Sighing in relief, I stuck it in my arm. I didn't want to take too big of a hit though, so I only left it in there for about two or three seconds. That was all I needed; a small high.

I stumbled out of the bathroom, and got back to our table. The restaurant was about to close, so I left half of the bill on the table.

"I'm going to leave," I spoke only in whispers. "I'll talk to you later…"

As I clumsily left the restaurant, I bumped into someone. "Oh, um, sorry…" Then, even though I thought I hadn't had taken that much, I blacked out.

—

**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

I was just about to leave the restaurant, I've had a long day. As I was walking out the door, a pink haired woman ran into me. She muttered something like: "Oh, um, sorry…" But I couldn't really tell, hence she was speaking so quietly. The next thing I knew, she passed out right there onto the ground. I was appalled. A blonde boy just left, and there was no one left in the restaurant.

"Great," I picked her up bridal style, and tried to wake her up. No luck whatsoever. Thinking to myself, I thought: _I guess I'll just have to take her back to my place… I don't want to seem like a cold-hearted bastard just leaving her here._

I don't think she needed to go to the hospital. She was breathing normally, and her skin tone was just fine.

For the time being, I just put her in the backseat of my car and drove home. This was going to be a very interesting situation… It's good I don't have to work tomorrow.

—

_A/N: Woo! Finally. I'm going to make short chapters, so I can update more often. I don't like making long-long chapters and making you all wait forever. Well, what do you think? Do you like it so far? Please review, they really keep me going!_


End file.
